My 27 Movie A-Z Film-a-thon: Day 25.
If someone made this movie as their final project for a class called “How to Make a Horror Movie,” it would probably squeak by with an A-. There’s nothing wrong with it, per se, but it doesn’t do anything new. It’s continuously interesting and vaguely entertaining, mostly because it understands the bones of what works in slasher films and uses well-worn tropes in textured ways that avoid feeling overly familiar. But once it’s over, you have to wonder: is this movie actually saying anything?
The movie works, don’t get me wrong—but what was it going for? Are we supposed to be afraid of going to a farmhouse in the country to film a sex movie? That’s not a relatable fear. If someone goes missing, should I now fear walking around barefoot in my underwear? The characters get themselves into situations so far removed from normal life that the scares don’t land.
The villains are the weakest part of X. They aren’t intimidating, smart, sadistic, or even overtly twisted. They’re only scary because they suddenly gain superhuman strength and agility without explanation. Should we now be afraid of running into an old man who resents us for making his wife want to have sex with him? That’s the basic premise here. It’s kind of delightful in its uniqueness, but it doesn’t tap into any universal fear.
The first 80% of the movie feels like it could’ve been the third entry in Tarantino and Rodriguez’s Grindhouse. But it fails to go all the way. No big moment is established for payoff. On the poster, Mia Goth is holding an ax with both hands—this set me up for a blood-soaked revenge finale. That never comes, and I felt underwhelmed.
The biggest flaw is the lack of a secondary villain. If the older couple had a son who showed up, someone truly intimidating or warped, the third act could’ve had real stakes. It’s hard to care when the only interesting characters are the good guys—and they all die too early.
There are great moments, especially in how much these young people love making a porn film. They seem to know what they’re doing. Martin Henderson does his best Matthew McConaughey and gets so excited about a scene he puts another guy’s hand on his erection. Ti West’s attitude toward pornographers is oddly wholesome, maybe even too much so. If I could transplant the sex stuff from X into Zack and Miri Make a Porno, that could’ve made for a cult masterpiece. Likewise, if X had any kind of love story, it might have felt more complete.
I watched this after seeing Pearl, and Pearl is the star-making piece of trash X probably wanted to be. Its setting is more distinct, Mia Goth gets a more layered character, and the central idea—ambition turned to madness—is more familiar and grounded. I wasn’t alive during the end of WWI, but I felt like I could run into someone like Pearl. I found myself squinting at strangers thinking, “Is this a Pearl?”
In X, they tried to make Mia Goth the lead first—but why? Her character doesn’t do much, isn’t particularly compelling in the sex scenes, and isn’t clever. She just sort of walks around with her nipples half-heartedly covered. She’s curious wallpaper. Goth plays the part well enough, but it’s not a strong role. This team needed another film where they threw out the rulebook. X is too safe. Too academic. Pearl felt like it needed to exist.
X ends on a clever note, a few lines that are remarkably well set up. It’s just a shame the rest of the movie isn’t much more than competently engaging. A lot of skill went into it, and yeah, I had a good time. But should you see it? Maybe—but more as a comparison piece to see what horror movies often get wrong. Ti West should be a script doctor. He could rescue a lot of movies that actually need to be made.
7/10
Avidavr: Media Reviews 